Agere Contra

Do you ever not want to go to Mass? Do you have all kinds of reasons? Here are a few:

1) It’s no longer obligatory.

1a) It’s obligatory, and that’s an impingement on my freedom. 

2) Nobody there likes me.

2a) I’m an introvert and can’t stand the socializing.

3) The people near me talk during Mass.

3a) Nobody will talk to me.

4) It’s a half-hour drive.

4a) It’s too early in the morning.

5) The bathrooms are kind of icky.

5a) There are no bathrooms.

5b) The bathrooms are down a flight of stairs in the basement and I have bad knees and a bad bladder.

6) I might run into the person I had an argument with a few years ago and haven’t spoken to since.

6a) I might run into that irritating guy from work.

6b) That family with the whining kids will probably sit behind me.

7) The air conditioning isn’t very good.

7a) The heat doesn’t work.

8) It’s a drag bringing heavy books along. 

8a) Everyone is staring at the daily reading app on their phone.

9) The music is atrocious.

9a) They won’t let me sing in the choir.

9b) I don’t want to sing in the choir and now they’re offended and think I’m a snob.

10) It’s supposed to be this amazing supernatural event, and everyone traipses around irreverently.

10a) Everyone’s traipsing around with such fussy reverence that charity’s gone out the window.

11) I hate wearing a covid mask.

11a) Other people there aren’t wearing their masks like they should.

12) People come in wearing awful inappropriate clothes.

12a) I hate having to dress up for Mass. What does God care?

13) The beggars outside the church make me nervous.

13a) I’d rather sit outside with the beggars than inside with all those hypocrites.

14) This priest gives the longest, most boring sermons ever.

14a) This priest thinks he’s an entertainer, with his boisterous sermons.

15) The altar servers are incompetent, it’s so irreverent.

15a) They use girls as altar servers, it’s so irreverent.

15b) I would never be an altar server, I’d be afraid of being criticized for messing up.

16) All they want is money.

16a) You’d think they could maintain the church, it’s falling apart. 

17) There aren’t any interesting parish activities.

17a) Everyone’s always trying to rope me into participating in parish activities.

18) They never have confession scheduled before Mass.

18a) The lines for confession are too long.

18b) No one has a right to tell me how to live my life. 

19) This priest is too rigid, always talking about hell.

19a) This priest is too lax, as if everyone’s going to heaven.

19b) I brought my gay friend once and the priest had to choose that day to preach about sodomy.

20) The Magisterium is clearly a bunch of hypocrites. Why should I show support for that by showing up?

When My Lord was crucified, how many stayed with him? Can I be one of them?

illustration from the Speculum Darmstadt

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